one more (for the road)

It's 6:23 am and about to leave for home. I woke up this early because I can't remember whether the security guard told me to wait for him at 6:45 or 7:15am. Come to think of it, 7:15 make a lot more sense now.

I'm going to be home in a few hours. Wahoo. I look forward to being in warm weather again. I have also not been in Texas for early May in 4 years. That should be a change. I'm packed, ready to move and nervous as always for my trip.

Keep in mind: Why travel when your feelings have a huge role when you depart or say goodbye?

I won't be online for a while (about a month), So have a good one until then.

OH HAI! vote for me so I can get popularity with my picture!

do it here: Vote here


Thank you! :)

i'll link you to these pretty funny sites.

because procrastination is everyone's minor.
procrastination one!
procrastination 2
enjoy!
Listen to Muse! they're awesome!!!1

Party Monster

I must admit, I'm a sucker for the "glamour films".
Here's a recent one I've seen and found most interesting:
click to see me!


About:
Based on club kids Michael Alig and James St. James from the late 1980s to 1990s, goes into the underground world of glamour, transvestites, and of course, the underground club parties in NYC. Cast includes Macaulay Culkin, Seth Green, Wilmer Valderrama, and Marilyn Manson.

I get by with a little help from my friends.



That's bullshit.

Year One.

I was inspired from seeing one of my friend's notes to also write a note reflecting my first college year thus far.

I'm not tagging anyone, because I want you to find this note on your own. Kind of like a scavenger-hunt type thing.

First off, I thank Lycoming for making me come to my senses concerning what I want to do with the rest of my life. I originally came here for the rarely offered Astronomy undegrad program, but I found myself being distracted from my Astronomy homework by looking for study abroad programs instead. This semester by taking Dr. Roskin's Into to Poli Sci class, i've realized that I want to study other cultures in a ethical and political sense; I want to learn about and travel the world.

Although I never officially declared myself an Astronomy major, I undeclared myself a few weeks ago. In my mind, I thought there was a possibility to still make it a minor. But to be honest, i'd rather be studying something else instead. Now i'm pursuing the track of double majoring in Political Science and International Studies with a minor in Spanish or German (I have yet to decide which one to pick, and yes, I still haven't declared!).

This week (although it's only Wednesday) has been an incredible eye opening experience for me. I've come to realize that although Lycoming offers a "security blanket" (as described by others), there is no coverage and security enough for me. I am an incredibly shy person and will not open up to anyone very easily. But it's been second semester, and i've found no one to completely confide in; no one to tell my problems to. To me, this is a major issue. I thank my one friend which i've been in contact via IM (you know who you are) for their support and their opinions that I actually need. To bad you're in another place other than Lycoming.

What gets to me is that a lot of people on campus are more worried about how many times they'll slip on their way to class and complain and bitch about it rather than if their friends made it to the Academic Center alright. I come from a very small boarding school in Northern Wisconsin, so going to a school of about 1,500 people was still a major impact. Although everyone complained, it was rather easy to tell them to shut the fuck up and get over it. Here, it's not so easy to do that.

I am naturally a loner. It started off in 5th grade when I transitioned over from ESL to a class taught completely in English. Of course, language was an issue, but now you don't notice my accent when I talk to you. Of course, I still have that funky grammar that appears now and then when I type something. I was alone for the majority of the first semester, but now when someone wants to include me in something, it feels odd and weird (no offense to you). I did have fun, i'll give you that, I do want to trust you, but I just can't, and I don't know why. In this case I can safely say it's not you, it's completely me.

What I'm getting to is that although I've had a lot of fun with a variety of people, I still haven't found a true network of friends that I can completely connect with. It was hard to leave my friends from high school behind, they mean the world to me. But even they have their own lives to worry about. So, I often find myself alone when I don't want to be alone. I fell into a deep pit yesterday that only one person was able to get me out of. Thanks so much for your help and thank you for putting up with my indecisiveness :)

I'm glad Lycoming let's us out in a few weeks, I need to be away and give my mind a rest. I look forward to, if it goes through, working at Conserve this summer. I need a break to the place where I was able to evolve from a girl to a young adult.

Now, I keep getting sidetracked, but here's the thing i'm going to end with: a top of finally having the opportunity to finally have professional help on one thing I am VERY self-conscious about (my teeth), along with the reasons mentioned above, and the money I have to spend to come out to Lycoming, I've made the decision that I will not be returning to Lycoming in the Spring Semester of 2009. There are a lot of things I have to deal with that require my immediate attention. It was my goal to ultimately live in the East Coast, and although it's not in the best city, it was definitely worth it flying out here from Texas to learn many new things in and outside of the classroom. Maybe later on, i'll be offered the opportunity again to live on the east coast, this time a place that'll be easier to travel in and out of. I have found such a place in Texas that offers everything I ever wanted, but that place will remain between me and the person who recommended it to me until I decide what I want to do in the Spring Semester of 2009.

Who knows, in the end I might transfer back to Lycoming for my final year. But I won't place any bets on that.

I'll catch you on the flip side.

So I saw Bill Clinton a few days ago, and I ditched the trip that went to NYC.
I didn't regret ditching it, and got to shake Bill Clinton's hand! It was great. I was close, but I wasn't able to take a picture with him.
I really like the last paper I wrote, and I want to share it. I'll do it, under one condition: only if I get an A on it.
muahaha.
Does anyone read this anymore?

I give up on all of you.