the day has finally come!

...and I have a major Final in about an hour.
It's my astro final, and I haven't slept since I woke up at 2pm yesterday.
It's time to go home. Hopefully the trail isn't blocked.
Back to finishing some Astro homework i should've done a long time ago.

Alright, I need a mental break.

I now know why everyone stresses so much about this finals thing.
IT'S INTENSE! I NOW KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
{before, i didn't know what the whole fuss was about. But when other subjects overtake your mind and all of the sudden you forget what you've learned in class, it's a bitch to try and cram weeks'/months' worth of material into a few days}
and that's why i deserve a mental break for the time being.
Finals come at such a bitchy time. I have one today, in about 12hrs, and i'm still studying like crazy for it. Not only that, but i noticed that i've been breaking out recently. Originally, i thought it was because of the food...but, as I found out today...
[boys, close your eyes, this it TMI...and I warn you NOW]
Aunt Flo decides to pay me a visit.
oh yeah, it's the monthly reminder that never fails to amaze me...it proves the fact that i'm a GIRL.
sigh. I forget that sometimes, to be honest.
DAMNIT.
[you can open your eyes now. it's about to get worse. jk.]
Izanami, Izanagi....Amaterasu....I'm about to be driven UP THE WALL.
svetambara...digambara...Lao Tzu, PLEASE. Tao te ching, HELP ME.
The sad part that makes little children cry and little kittens get caught in mouse traps is that I have one test today, 2 tomorrow, and...the next one isn't until FRIDAY.
Lord help me. I have that huge gap to study...but why so far? ehh...i really want to go home.
I'll go bang my head against a Torii now.
Anyone else glad it's near Christmas time?

should I do it?

So, I have a week break in February (25-29...something along those lines), it's my spring break...but it makes sense since our school year ends at the end of April. Anyway, I was contemplating whether or not I should risk it again and make another trip up to CS. of course, my friends are telling me to go ahead and do it, and I want to, I want to see what the school has become. But there lies the issue of who is going to take me back down to the train/bus station? the closest i can get to Conserve is Wausau, that is if i don't freakin' miss the train again. I would have to take it and go to Appleton since that's where my ride is going to be...if I do go, it'd be Birkie weekend and that'd be totally awesome if I could make it and see all the skiers! I wouldn't ski since my inner fat kid (i'm not joking...) has overtaken me and i'm eating as unhealthily as possible...oh if my mom could see me now! It's hibernation time and the heat in my room somehow is broked. so my roommate and I sleep all the time. well, my reason to sleep is so I can avoid being cranky, yes, I do get cranky when I haven't had a nap. My roommate has gotten sick twice. Me: none. I win.
This is probably the most times i'll go back to CS. next year I probably won't visit as much, i'll probably go home with a friend or stay on campus. But i hate being here along, I get all depressed and stuff. I might make it at the beginning of the year next year, just to see some peeps and go during that summer-fall between period. That's my favorite time to hang out. And of course, i'll go for graduation. Maybe i'll have some friends out here in the East I can probably visit. And possibly make some overseas trips...but that's still under construction. Hmm, that thought kind of reminds me of a poem that my 7th grade english teacher made us remember; I still remember some bits and pieces of it: I dwell in possibility, a fairer house than prose. Numerous of windows, superior for doors. I didn't take that seriously until senior year, when I realized unconsciously how true that is. Oh, time certainly is the best teacher.
Anyway, back to the topic of this entry....should I do it? I somewhat have the financial resources, but it's the lack of people up north...that make is a little impossible. I also hate barging into people's schedules. But as a great man, Cesar Chavez put it, "you are never strong enough that you don't need help."
Man, my ears are warm and my hands are freezing. crazy. I like to travel. but, I must be off. The library is open 'til 2am but i must head back soon...i got some studying done, but as usual, I get distracted.

consume in moderation

Today in German class, we learned all about Christmas. Because, to quote my German teacher: "You cannot have a German class without talking about Christmas!"
We watched a video about German Christmas customs. We learned all about St. Nick and the scary hay men who take the older sisters out to pubs when they go around the houses giving presents to the little boys and girls. At the end of class we had marzipan, raisin, and rum cake. 'Twas delicious and the closest thing i'm going to get to alcohol in a loooonggg time. Finals is next week and all I want to do is sleep. I need to study tons since i'm not doing as well as I like in a lot of my classes. I still have to pick my classes for next semester.
I thought this would be a long entry, but right now, nothing comes to mind. I think once the weekend comes along, sometime inspirational will hit me and i'll get the writing bug. Until then...

,give me a title!.

i need to write a long post about the side effects of winter.
Love like winter, indeed.

it's december

I am ready for a break. It's been a long first semester. I've been registering in my mind all that goes on because I have nothing better to do :)
Things have been full of spontaneity recently. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? it's certainly nerve-wrecking sometimes. I planned out a trip out to the Midwest, and I can't tell you how many times i just wanted to give up and not even bother going...i wanted to let those $130 go to waste and not even bother with getting out there.
But in the end, there are people that are willing to lend out a helping hand to anyone. Thanks to that, I was able to have one of the best thanksgivings yet, and one of he most bittersweet as well.
Bittesweet, why? I felt like returning to my old school brought back memories of how i hadn't really properly said goodbye to the place. I mean, I was there for 4 years. I only really felt bitter and sad the day before I graduated. I don't think I'd cried harder anytime before that, but it's hard to make friends a few months before graduating, and then leaving them behind for what you think is the next step in your life. I went back and saw a few of them, not the whole group of people that "rebelled" towards the end of the year. I know now that I have stronger bonds and that I have people that will back me up no matter what, although we might have different views and have different backgrounds.
Well, enough with my friends, the holiday season is finally here! I remember how last year I was so...not very happy about it, but this year I am actually uber excited about it. It's weird, my old school was a non-denominational campus so we couldn't really post banners all over the place wishing everyone a merry chrsitmas or whatever they celebrated, but this year, my college is affiliated with the Methodist church, so we can actually now have "Christmas trees" and "wreaths"! I found it weird that most of the "Christmas" cards now have "happy holidays" or "have a merry season filled with joys and peace". It was hard to find a batch of the Christmas cards at Family Dollar. So whatever you believe in, happy Hanukkah! just kidding, happy holidays. keep the faith.

break!

Well, i'm taking the plunge and traveling alone. I'm off to WI tomorrow morning!
Today was great, I basically was on a natural high the whole time. It was awesome. I skipped Calc, finished my paper for one of my classes, and in that same class, we were let out early.
It's been a great day. The week was rocky since I was still looking for someone to give me a ride down to Lewistown, turns out all I had to do was ask around.
This is a much needed break. i've been stressing too much over the little stuff. I almost had a panic attack on Monday night, it'd been a rough day, and on top of it, people weren't really helping me out.
It's weird to go back to my old school. I used to yearn for an exit, but now i miss the smallness of it, the close-knit community we were. We didn't need to spend a lot of time together, we just needed stuff we could do with our friends. I met most of my friends during classes or sports. But i'm glad i've moved on to the college level, there's a lot more freedom and a lot less restrictions to everything. I feel like my life is slowly slipping beneath my feet, but if i make the best of it, it will all turn out alright. I'm excited to take Amtrak for the first time. It's one of the only transportations I haven't taken. I've been in a yacht, so i've been on the seas. I feel like i'm going to a pre-historic period :)
I wonder who knows i'm coming. I tried to make it a surprise, but a lot of my friends like to be loud mouths. mm...my hair still smells a little like NYC. I've fallen in love with that city. There's so much to do and see, it's not even funny. My inner ADDness went crazy while I was there. I'm excited to be with some of my friends again.
*Dec, 1. 2007*
I didn't finish the post, nor did I correct it because I still feel the same way.
I miss that hell hole sometimes, but it's for various good reasons. I saw my friends, and they are the constant reminder of why i still have faith in humanity :)
I miss them all terribly, and it's those attachments that make me bitter, i guess. But who the hell cares, i'm happy now.

It's been so long. i sorry!

For a few weeks, I forgot about my commitment to write in this blog. I Sorry!
anyway, i've been busy with work (for about 10% of the time) and i've been going back to this website: http://www.onesentence.org/
the one that made me realize how life is really fucked up is this one:
"The idea of letting your children choose their own path in life is thrown out the window when your three-year-old declares they are going to be either a doctor or a Walmart cashier when they grow up."
Where has this world gone to? I remember when I said I wanted to be a teacher, a doctor, a police officer, hell, one of my friends mentioned she wanted to be a bus driver. I don't know why it bothers me so, but a walmart cashier? oh man.
I've been thinking about the idea of having children, if you'd asked me about 2 years ago, I would've probably said I wanted to have 4-5 children. But now, after all that high school crap and finally hearing reality out in its full-blown force, my answers will vary from: "kids? why the hell would anyone want any of those?" to "well, maybe one or two, so I can teach them the true path of life early on and leave my own legacy for the world >=D"
So, now I'm in college, am I really on the right path to success? Do I really have to be in debt up over my head in order to find a way to make my life work out until the day I die? What if I plan to take a different path? Is it just me or does every college student go through this phase? I don't even know if it's a phase anymore, i've been questioning it for such a long time now. What i'm afraid of doing is that i'll be going into the wrong thing and I won't be able to dig myself out of it and I won't be able to fix it and i'll be miserable.
Should I just let things work itself out? I have a hard time pinning down what I want to do in less than 4 years. It's scary to think that in that time, i'll be out in the world alone, reminiscing on schooling. Since that is the only thing i've known for the past 13 years.

it's been awhile

So the past week has been semi-crazy. I finally got my first check, I finally socialized with some people and I finally turned in a Calc assignment. Crazy, right?
Anyway, I've been contemplating next year. I don't know if i want to stay here or not. It's tough trying to make a decision based on almost 2 months of being at one place. I don't have much time to decide what I'm going to do soon.
I hate being sleepy. It makes is tougher to concentrate.
Anyway, we had long weekend here, everyone got a much needed break from the continuous cycle we call college. It was nice not to have the same people around and I got to talk to new ones. So college might not be so bad after all. It was good to have the smelly sheep out of the way.
I don't know if i have still adjusted to the smallness/bigness of the school. It's big because it's bigger than my high school. It's small because there are a lot more colleges around here that can totally kick some serious butt.
anyway, i have to finish an easy paper. Maybe i'll write later on.
almost 3 weeks until i make it back to the penitentiary.

BREAKING NEWS

Al Gore wins the Nobel Peace Prize.
HE WHAT?!?!?!


that's right.
the man who invented the internet, gets the Noble Peace Prize.
wtf? is correct

Google

So I was wondering about the time that i've heard about companies using sweatshops in order to manufacture their over priced merchandise, and I came across this: burning Apple G4.
It kind of makes me glad I got my cheap Gateway. Not only will this computer keep me warm in the winter, but it was also not hard on the pocket, and it won't spontaneously give me a campfire. Hurray!
As someone once said: "Ipod [red], made by little chinese kids to benefit little african kids." Then three months later they come out with iPods that have double the memory of the formerly expensive iPod. I was angry when I found out Apple came out with a new iPod three weeks after i had gotten mine. Oh my iPod didn't directly benefit the Apple company, so that's one less thing that I have to worry about.
Companies these days seem to have their own empires. We're all just the little A.D.D puppets that are being played by these companies; they tell us what's popular, what we need, and what will make us more socially acceptable. Buy, buy BUY. Now I feel guilty of going shopping this weekend. I guess the companies got me on that one, they have huge sales so I can go out and advertise them without me consciously knowing. Consumerism is indeed part of the game of life.
Which puts to question: are you really rich when you have a lot of money? Can it all go to hell once you know that you are set for life?
I personally don't like to get involved with big name organizations, just because if i tell someone that i belong to that group, they automatically assume something of me. Early assumptions are something that I absolutely despise. I hate it. Therefore I don't really talk about what I believe to people that I don't know. It'll be hard to explain the real me. Only the people that know me really well know that the reality behind this is probably because I have OCD. or ADD. i don't know, i still have to decide. I guess it's because I don't want to fit anywhere. I like it when we were still back in elementary school, and no one really socialized outside their classroom. And everyone got valentines on the 14th.

I have nothing better to do.

Finally, some time to chill. I'm actually pretty tired, and I don't know why. I spent most of my day sleeping or shopping.
'Twas a good time at the mall. They had a gigantic sale at Old Navy. Before coming to college, I had never even worn anything Old Navy let alone buy something there.
The deals were all over the place. I hit my favorite place, Hot Topic (haha. That place is way over priced, but I decided to drop in as I always do every time I go to the Mall). I actually got some shirts for $5. One of the workers there told me so. I think he might've been flirting with me. It makes me wonder if he would've done it more had I not been on the phone most of the time I was there. I had the urge to say "Yaaarrr!" since he was wearing a pirate shirt. I would've thought he was some random guy wandering around had he not been a worker there. He definitely didn't have the typical Hot Topic attire. Maybe i'll go visit next weekend.
I probably would've gotten more stuff if I wasn't so A.D.D. What I don't like about that Hot Topic is that they don't have any posters. At ALL. aren't they all about the music? Right, like i'm ever buying one of their over priced CDs. I'd rather bum them off someone. Or get the promo ones. Those are fun.
I've noticed that it's the record companies that get mad when people bum music off each other. I think the actual bands/singers could care less, so long as their music is still being spread. The real money comes from merchandise. Say no to pirated merch. But I still don't get the RIAA. Don't they get enough money already? It's not like they can't afford to not buy their expensive coffee and crappy over priced food anyway.
Hmm. It seems to be getting damn cold. I wish they'd turn the heat on soon. It doesn't help much when the temperatures are pretty close to freezing point. Thanks to prior training, I can go out in this weather in just a hoodie. But pretty soon i'll have to bring out the winter jacket. I wonder what there's to do in mild winters. I heard sledding down the hill is pretty fun. I remember I once made a snowman with a friend. He also had a snowdog to keep him company. I think he melted a few hours later.
Is it good to be sucked in by the air of consumerism? Is it good to have a ton of stuff lying around just so it makes an environment? How do you show your personality in a non-material way? That's been on my mind for some time. Maybe i'll think some more about it later. But right now I am still out of it.
No links this time. Take that blogger.

I R blog during teh day!

yes, it's possible.
So i guess i posted up wayy too many links and Blogger was wrongly accusing me of being a Spam robot. So, I had to prove I wasn't and do some e-paperwork.
Well....school is not going to good, I need to study more. I also got a craving for Chinese food which i must satisfy. So I must be off.
Ciao for now.

they're at it again...

Yet another controversy in the passing bills stage:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21066498/

Communism

I haven't posted here since last month! how sad.
Have your parents ever told you that communism was really bad? Did you ever wonder why?
I did some skimming research on the subject, and i found this:
I finally took a look at Sicko, Good job Moore, we all know of another thing that you hate. How much money did you make on bitching about the government again?
Well, that's enough of that, on to communism...
It turns out that communism might not be so bad, Cuba has free health care, China is loading up on US dollars due to shipping jobs overseas.
I remember this one time, there was someone who called for me asking me if i wanted to open up a credit card with some bank, i really don't remember what bank, anyway, the caller was obviously indian, and he couldn't take a hint that i didn't want a credit card. so, wtf. leave me alone. I had to hang up on the guy because i didn't want to bitch him out over the phone about some stupid credit card.
So it worries me, is the U.S. government as glorious as people make it to be? I have a friend in Denmark who's pastime now seems to be to research anything anti-american and right away send me the link.
hmm, i have some fun with it. Most of the link i get are about the war in Iraq, about how there is no exit strategy, and how we're only there for the oil. What I want to tell him is please tell me something new!
What if America went the way of the communists? What if everyone had the same rights to everything, the same education level, and the same income. Well then, we wouldn't have all these bitchy bloggers complaining about their life and how no one understands them. Hmm. Come to think of it, swaying away from the socialist and marxist paths, it brings me entertainment.
So America! Please keep in your corruptive, stubborn, helpless path. I kind of like it =).
now..for sleep, i must complete the duties of a college student, aka, i need to finish my homework in the morning.

Sleeping in

I broke all of my sleeping in records-- I managed to wake up on Saturday (yesterday) at 3pm, just in time for dinner. I guess I did it for the love of watching Bam's Unholy Union. They ran the season from 12am until 5am. It was worth it, I was laughing my ass off most of the time. It's amazing how someone can get paid for acting stupid. I'm amazed that Bam Margera could get a gig like that, and that's why he's my hero for the day.

I've noticed that a lot of reality TV shows are scripted. They are so bad, that you can tell the people who are supposed to be acting "normal" actually have their actions pre-set by some lame producer. Sometimes, I must admit, it's a work of art. Other times (which is about 89% of the time) it's shitty and it doesn't make sense. What makes reality TV now? It's hard to find the real thing now, it's like finding your true love on the first date. That's never going to happen (and don't get mad at that last statement, stop lying to yourself). It's the good form of Absinthe that's banned in the US (don't believe it? Look it up, I dare ya. See? I even provided a link. Now, say thank you.)
Anyway, I don't know how i got on that route, but my point is, poor sleeping habits will pay off later. Especially in college. Although my classes here aren't mandatory, some teachers do take attendance, so your attendance will be proportional to your grade at the end of the semester.
If you're like me, my body gets used to things pretty easily. Sleep patterns is one of them. One time, I fell asleep at around 3am, I haven't gone to bed any earlier since.
Speaking of bedtimes, i'm starting to get a little weary although i've been up for 12 hours. So I must be off.
Remember, say no to Internet Explorer. I don't know why, but don't use it!

weekends

Weekends are usually spent sleeping, watching TV, partying, doing anything BUT school work.
I'm usually stuck in my room because I have nothing better to do. It also happens to be parent's weekend. I also happened to deny the possibility of my mom moving to Williamsport. It's just too weird to have her close again. I admit, I like living in the south although sometimes people get the wrong impression of me when I tell them I am from Texas. Half the time, they wonder why I don't have an accent, or if my house is in the desert. It's not, sorry to break all your hopes and dreams.
I've been a foreigner for 4+ years now. It all started when I went to boarding school in Northern Wisconsin. I couldn't wait to get out of there, but now I can't wait to go back. I guess it was because of the strong hold the school administration had on the students. We yearn for freedom, but when we finally achieve it, we don't know what to do with out find ourselves with our hands full of things to do.
Nothing exciting has happened. I possibly passed my Astronomy test. Hurrah!
Now the thing I must conquer: contact with others in order to build a human-like relationship.

new calculator!

So after a few failed attempts to get a calculator on ebay, I finally have one!
that's another thing you shouldn't head out to college without...a nice graphing calculator.
After I "lost" mine last year, I sent out an email to see if anyone had it, but I got no response. Son of a Bitch who has it. I know someone still has it. but, i got a new one, although it's used.



yay! now i can goof off in Calc class. Astronomy class doesn't deserve that. haha.

sad/scared/confused/angry

yes, contrary to popular belief, I am capable of having those feelings.
So, my laptop, Quetzalcoatl has been acting up lately. It turns out that it had some bugs in it. After restarting and resetting it all over again, i thought it would run smoothly.
little did I know i was going to be wrong.
So, usually when you get a laptop, you also usually install the usual IM, and other programs that you need on your computer. Between the time that i restarted and was uploading some of these applications, I did another random SpyWare scan, and found out that my computer managed to AGAIN contract the same bugs.
How the hell can this be? I erased everything from my laptop and started it up clean, but I am still puzzled at how the hell this can happen.
I have no clue as what to do. I guess i'll be heading to Geek Squad soon. Turns out the campus Tech Center doesn't troubleshoot. I need to use this compy for my school work, but I am already getting frustrated.
Help? Anyone?

Eyebrows

So I finally got the courage to somewhat shape my eyebrows. I was kind of thinking back to the day I got my manicure and pedicure and how the vietnamese stylists offered to wax my eyebrows for $5 more. No thanks, I said. How I regret that now...
oh, if only I had a camera! They don't look like mutated bugs anymore.
I need to find one. Don't head out to college without one. It might get you a few friends.
But anyway, I hate to admit it, but I like to draw eyebrows when I'm bored. When I do that, it usually means I am extremely bored.
If only I had the hands to make the perfect eyebrow.
It's a weird obsession of mine, I know. Maybe next time I should just go to the beauty salon.
By the way, the nails that I got done have now almost partly grown out. That means I can put on my contacts again without poking my eye out. Hurray!
Another note: if you plan on procrastinating, make sure you know when the deadline for your project is due.
There goes my 4.0 for Freshman year.
Which leads me to today's quote of the day:
"Hard work often pays off after time. Laziness always pays off now."
Thanks to my Astronomy professor for that thought of the day.

Sundays

Sundays have never been my favorite day. In fact, when I was little, I absolutely detested Sundays.
Might've been because I had to go to church every Sunday.
Even then, Sundays are the creepy cousin you avoid during the holidays.
To be honest, i don't even mind Mondays.
Now I've realized that a bunch of my deadlines have crept up on me. What to do, what to do?!?
Sleep! although i got 9 hours of it, I don't mind catching another hour.
Ta-ta for now.

P.s. I just got a new calculator- i bet these suckers are going to rule the world someday

the dreaded first blog

it's 3:08 am EST, and i'm still awake.
why? Because i'm a college student, that's why.
anyway, i'm getting tired. Time to fly off. For now.