Well, i'm taking the plunge and traveling alone. I'm off to WI tomorrow morning!
Today was great, I basically was on a natural high the whole time. It was awesome. I skipped Calc, finished my paper for one of my classes, and in that same class, we were let out early.
It's been a great day. The week was rocky since I was still looking for someone to give me a ride down to Lewistown, turns out all I had to do was ask around.
This is a much needed break. i've been stressing too much over the little stuff. I almost had a panic attack on Monday night, it'd been a rough day, and on top of it, people weren't really helping me out.
It's weird to go back to my old school. I used to yearn for an exit, but now i miss the smallness of it, the close-knit community we were. We didn't need to spend a lot of time together, we just needed stuff we could do with our friends. I met most of my friends during classes or sports. But i'm glad i've moved on to the college level, there's a lot more freedom and a lot less restrictions to everything. I feel like my life is slowly slipping beneath my feet, but if i make the best of it, it will all turn out alright. I'm excited to take Amtrak for the first time. It's one of the only transportations I haven't taken. I've been in a yacht, so i've been on the seas. I feel like i'm going to a pre-historic period :)
I wonder who knows i'm coming. I tried to make it a surprise, but a lot of my friends like to be loud mouths. mm...my hair still smells a little like NYC. I've fallen in love with that city. There's so much to do and see, it's not even funny. My inner ADDness went crazy while I was there. I'm excited to be with some of my friends again.
*Dec, 1. 2007*
I didn't finish the post, nor did I correct it because I still feel the same way.
I miss that hell hole sometimes, but it's for various good reasons. I saw my friends, and they are the constant reminder of why i still have faith in humanity :)
I miss them all terribly, and it's those attachments that make me bitter, i guess. But who the hell cares, i'm happy now.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
It's been so long. i sorry!
For a few weeks, I forgot about my commitment to write in this blog. I Sorry!
anyway, i've been busy with work (for about 10% of the time) and i've been going back to this website: http://www.onesentence.org/
the one that made me realize how life is really fucked up is this one:
"The idea of letting your children choose their own path in life is thrown out the window when your three-year-old declares they are going to be either a doctor or a Walmart cashier when they grow up."
Where has this world gone to? I remember when I said I wanted to be a teacher, a doctor, a police officer, hell, one of my friends mentioned she wanted to be a bus driver. I don't know why it bothers me so, but a walmart cashier? oh man.
I've been thinking about the idea of having children, if you'd asked me about 2 years ago, I would've probably said I wanted to have 4-5 children. But now, after all that high school crap and finally hearing reality out in its full-blown force, my answers will vary from: "kids? why the hell would anyone want any of those?" to "well, maybe one or two, so I can teach them the true path of life early on and leave my own legacy for the world >=D"
So, now I'm in college, am I really on the right path to success? Do I really have to be in debt up over my head in order to find a way to make my life work out until the day I die? What if I plan to take a different path? Is it just me or does every college student go through this phase? I don't even know if it's a phase anymore, i've been questioning it for such a long time now. What i'm afraid of doing is that i'll be going into the wrong thing and I won't be able to dig myself out of it and I won't be able to fix it and i'll be miserable.
Should I just let things work itself out? I have a hard time pinning down what I want to do in less than 4 years. It's scary to think that in that time, i'll be out in the world alone, reminiscing on schooling. Since that is the only thing i've known for the past 13 years.
anyway, i've been busy with work (for about 10% of the time) and i've been going back to this website: http://www.onesentence.org/
the one that made me realize how life is really fucked up is this one:
"The idea of letting your children choose their own path in life is thrown out the window when your three-year-old declares they are going to be either a doctor or a Walmart cashier when they grow up."
Where has this world gone to? I remember when I said I wanted to be a teacher, a doctor, a police officer, hell, one of my friends mentioned she wanted to be a bus driver. I don't know why it bothers me so, but a walmart cashier? oh man.
I've been thinking about the idea of having children, if you'd asked me about 2 years ago, I would've probably said I wanted to have 4-5 children. But now, after all that high school crap and finally hearing reality out in its full-blown force, my answers will vary from: "kids? why the hell would anyone want any of those?" to "well, maybe one or two, so I can teach them the true path of life early on and leave my own legacy for the world >=D"
So, now I'm in college, am I really on the right path to success? Do I really have to be in debt up over my head in order to find a way to make my life work out until the day I die? What if I plan to take a different path? Is it just me or does every college student go through this phase? I don't even know if it's a phase anymore, i've been questioning it for such a long time now. What i'm afraid of doing is that i'll be going into the wrong thing and I won't be able to dig myself out of it and I won't be able to fix it and i'll be miserable.
Should I just let things work itself out? I have a hard time pinning down what I want to do in less than 4 years. It's scary to think that in that time, i'll be out in the world alone, reminiscing on schooling. Since that is the only thing i've known for the past 13 years.
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